Ok, so I realize it has been over a month since I (B) posted anything. Over the last few weeks I had a hard time coming up with an amusing post because, well, I wasn't having awkward dates or interactions with creepers and duds. Instead, I have gone out five times with organic coffee, and have had a great time each time. We have been progressing slowly but surely (partly slowly b/c I managed to travel to Baltimore, sprain my ankle, and get strep throat since we met and he is busy with a new business). However, he has been pretty creative in his date ideas (roller derby, a cheap circus, an improv show) and we have been having a lot of fun.
So, like M, I am relieved to say that my Match account is currently closed. I gave online dating a chance, and I'll see where it goes from here!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
I Kissed Online Dating Goodbye!
I (M) am pretty excited to say that I have killed my online dating account. Freedommmmmm! Kissing online dating goodbye is a big sigh of relief. No more winks. No more messages. No more profile views. No more chatty IMers.
So, what have I learned... Well, honestly, about two and a half weeks ago, I would have said, I learned that online dating is not for me. I would have said that I learned that I am not in a place to meet someone this way. I would have said that the online dating men in my age range are not my type. I would have said that enduring the creepers and the pick-up line emails was not worth the small handful of good emails and nice guys and dates. I would have said that it is so unnatural to meet someone this way. But, it is not two and a half weeks ago. It is today. And today, the most skeptical one has a confession to make: I might like a boy. And I think he might like me back. And online dating might have been a success for me.
Mango Smoothie and I went out yesterday (Sunday because I had Monday off work, thanks Casimir Pulaski). Met in Oak Park for dinner and a movie. We were meeting at 7 and I was ready at... 5:15. Ha. Luckily, he texted me at 5:40 and said that if I happened to arrive much earlier than 7, he would be at the Starbucks down the street. I took the opportunity to flirt a bit and encourage him to keep his eye out for a cute Asian girl. So I took a few more deep breaths and then hit the road and met him at 6:45.
Dinner was great, conversation felt very comfortable and I remember laughing a lot. We grabbed after dinner coffee because we had plenty of time to kill before the movie. Again, good conversation. We covered why he was doing online dating - mostly to "try it out" and because in his experience, he felt that there had to be someone better than the girls he was meeting at bars and in his friend group. I explained my reasons for online dating and how I attempted to sabotage my account. He responded by saying that my ridiculous standards was what he liked about my profile - he could tell that I did not NEED a boyfriend, and he liked that. Okay enough recounting the conversation. Movie was mediocre, but we had fun with it. No hand-holding despite my efforts to leave it out there.
So, when I got home, I got a text saying that he wouldn't be opposed to a study date tomorrow (Monday, again, thanks Casimir Pulaski). That would be today. So today, got on the Metra, lunched at Panera, tried to read, played some cards (I lost), went for a walk, talked, laughed... Considering we didn't really do anything, it was pretty great. A fourth date is planned for Friday and there has been some discussion along the lines of things are going good and we're both pretty happy about that.
So what have I learned... Anything is possible. Even for the most skeptical person. And yes, Hollywood, I will sell you my story, so long as you cast Joseph Gordon Levitt as my counterpart.
And with that, I believe I have sufficiently contributed to the blog and thank you all for reading.
-M
So, what have I learned... Well, honestly, about two and a half weeks ago, I would have said, I learned that online dating is not for me. I would have said that I learned that I am not in a place to meet someone this way. I would have said that the online dating men in my age range are not my type. I would have said that enduring the creepers and the pick-up line emails was not worth the small handful of good emails and nice guys and dates. I would have said that it is so unnatural to meet someone this way. But, it is not two and a half weeks ago. It is today. And today, the most skeptical one has a confession to make: I might like a boy. And I think he might like me back. And online dating might have been a success for me.
Mango Smoothie and I went out yesterday (Sunday because I had Monday off work, thanks Casimir Pulaski). Met in Oak Park for dinner and a movie. We were meeting at 7 and I was ready at... 5:15. Ha. Luckily, he texted me at 5:40 and said that if I happened to arrive much earlier than 7, he would be at the Starbucks down the street. I took the opportunity to flirt a bit and encourage him to keep his eye out for a cute Asian girl. So I took a few more deep breaths and then hit the road and met him at 6:45.
Dinner was great, conversation felt very comfortable and I remember laughing a lot. We grabbed after dinner coffee because we had plenty of time to kill before the movie. Again, good conversation. We covered why he was doing online dating - mostly to "try it out" and because in his experience, he felt that there had to be someone better than the girls he was meeting at bars and in his friend group. I explained my reasons for online dating and how I attempted to sabotage my account. He responded by saying that my ridiculous standards was what he liked about my profile - he could tell that I did not NEED a boyfriend, and he liked that. Okay enough recounting the conversation. Movie was mediocre, but we had fun with it. No hand-holding despite my efforts to leave it out there.
So, when I got home, I got a text saying that he wouldn't be opposed to a study date tomorrow (Monday, again, thanks Casimir Pulaski). That would be today. So today, got on the Metra, lunched at Panera, tried to read, played some cards (I lost), went for a walk, talked, laughed... Considering we didn't really do anything, it was pretty great. A fourth date is planned for Friday and there has been some discussion along the lines of things are going good and we're both pretty happy about that.
So what have I learned... Anything is possible. Even for the most skeptical person. And yes, Hollywood, I will sell you my story, so long as you cast Joseph Gordon Levitt as my counterpart.
And with that, I believe I have sufficiently contributed to the blog and thank you all for reading.
-M
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Incoherent Mumblings
It's been a while since I've posted and that's mostly because there hasn't been much to report on. The world of online dating hasn't had much to offer lately. I had another first date 2 weeks ago with Yoo-hoo, a perfectly normal 32 year old working in the internet industry. We had exchanged some emails, had one awkward phone conversation, and set out to meet for dinner on a Wednesday night. It was a typical first date full on conversation about our jobs, travels, families, and upbringings. He was nice, however when the conversation shifted to religion it was very clear that we had differing views. It was a fine dinner with a gentle hug good-bye in the parking lot and we parted ways. I'm becoming a semi-pro at first dates!
In other more entertaining online dating news, this morning I received a voice-mail from none other than our favorite Crate-and-Barrel kissing friend Merlot! I was the recipient of a drunk dial! The message consisted of a 'Hello Dear,' a confession of being drunk, some incoherent mumblings, a request to talk, and a 'well, see you later.' It offered me a good laugh to start my Thursday and sadly for him, I'm not going to respond. Do real people respond to drunk dials?
This adventure is quickly coming to a close. It was fun while it lasted, but the thrill of the ride has faded away. I've only checked every 4 or 5 days for the last few weeks and haven't had communication with anyone. Online dating is a weird world, but I'm glad that I ventured in again, sure makes for a good winter hobby. Here's to 11 more days and then onto the adventure of real world dating! J
In other more entertaining online dating news, this morning I received a voice-mail from none other than our favorite Crate-and-Barrel kissing friend Merlot! I was the recipient of a drunk dial! The message consisted of a 'Hello Dear,' a confession of being drunk, some incoherent mumblings, a request to talk, and a 'well, see you later.' It offered me a good laugh to start my Thursday and sadly for him, I'm not going to respond. Do real people respond to drunk dials?
This adventure is quickly coming to a close. It was fun while it lasted, but the thrill of the ride has faded away. I've only checked every 4 or 5 days for the last few weeks and haven't had communication with anyone. Online dating is a weird world, but I'm glad that I ventured in again, sure makes for a good winter hobby. Here's to 11 more days and then onto the adventure of real world dating! J
Friday, February 24, 2012
Xanga post!
I don't know what the fads were when you were in high school, but for me (M) Xanga was definitely a part of that awkward transition from adolescence into... adolescence. For those who don't know, Xanga was, back in the day, an online "journal" of sorts. People used them to vent their young adult angst. And really, part of being a sophomore in high school is being hopelessly in love (JK but seriously...) so the majority of posts revolved around all the reasons he and I are perfect for each other. So this is about as close as you are going to get into looking into my online diary.
Now, I am not hopelessly in love. Let's just establish that right now. But, I've found someone I actually like. To be honest, he (Mango Smoothie) got me from the first email. As I said in the last post, we exchanged a few emails, then I gave him my number. He ended up calling last Sunday and we talked for an hour. My roommate will attest that I was very nervous about the call and that we ended up talking about all the topics she suggested even though I wrote them off (... sorry V). Conversation went well. He was funny! He was a good listener! He asked good questions! At the end of the conversation he still asked me out even though I confessed that Taylor Lautner is the only reason girls watch Twilight and that I am a Harry Potter nerd!!
We texted back and forth at least a few times every day until our date which was set for today, Friday. I feel like he was pretty creative - downtown dinner at a vegan restaurant (to accommodate me, trying out being a vegan) and arcade games at Dave-N-Busters. It was a good balance of the talking time and the activity time. I imagine the details aren't that exciting so I will just go to my summary. (Except that I won more arcade games than he did and was only just a little tempted to say "Winner" to him in Courtney's - from the Bachelor - baby voice.)
Mango is great. He really is. He is super cute. I mean, for those who know me, he is button up and sweater-wearing, matching brown tennis shoes, plastic-rimmed glasses, skinny guy cute. He makes me laugh. He is smart, inquisitive, easy-going, fun, kind... He is the kind of date that I am sitting here trying to describe him and I have a smile on my face. He walked me all the way back to the Metra station, we hugged goodbye and he said, "I had fun, would love to do it again." I am not going to make any jumps here, I am hardly in a place to make any predictions, but I do know that Mango is my kind of guy and that is a good start.
Until next time,
-M
Now, I am not hopelessly in love. Let's just establish that right now. But, I've found someone I actually like. To be honest, he (Mango Smoothie) got me from the first email. As I said in the last post, we exchanged a few emails, then I gave him my number. He ended up calling last Sunday and we talked for an hour. My roommate will attest that I was very nervous about the call and that we ended up talking about all the topics she suggested even though I wrote them off (... sorry V). Conversation went well. He was funny! He was a good listener! He asked good questions! At the end of the conversation he still asked me out even though I confessed that Taylor Lautner is the only reason girls watch Twilight and that I am a Harry Potter nerd!!
We texted back and forth at least a few times every day until our date which was set for today, Friday. I feel like he was pretty creative - downtown dinner at a vegan restaurant (to accommodate me, trying out being a vegan) and arcade games at Dave-N-Busters. It was a good balance of the talking time and the activity time. I imagine the details aren't that exciting so I will just go to my summary. (Except that I won more arcade games than he did and was only just a little tempted to say "Winner" to him in Courtney's - from the Bachelor - baby voice.)
Mango is great. He really is. He is super cute. I mean, for those who know me, he is button up and sweater-wearing, matching brown tennis shoes, plastic-rimmed glasses, skinny guy cute. He makes me laugh. He is smart, inquisitive, easy-going, fun, kind... He is the kind of date that I am sitting here trying to describe him and I have a smile on my face. He walked me all the way back to the Metra station, we hugged goodbye and he said, "I had fun, would love to do it again." I am not going to make any jumps here, I am hardly in a place to make any predictions, but I do know that Mango is my kind of guy and that is a good start.
Until next time,
-M
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Specifics...
M here. It has been a good while since I've posted. Probably because I had about as much enthusiasm for online dating as I do for a visit to the dentist. I think it is fair to say that it equally undesirable to have a 40-year-old wink at you as it is to have someone scraping at your pearly whites. So I attempted to sabotage my own account. I decided to start from scratch with my "About Me and What I'm Looking For" section on my page, so I deleted all those charming things I had written down like "I like to cook" and "I really like to go out to restaurants but also can enjoy a quiet night in" and "I'm funny but also have a serious side" and "I'm looking for a guy to be my best friend" because let's be honest, 9/10 profiles the online dating men are looking at SAY THE EXACT SAME THING. I decided it was time for some specifics. I was going to put what I wrote down in my new "About Me" section, but it is quite wordy, so I'll just give some highlights, and I quote:
-I am emotionally stable (that's got to be at least 10 points for me), no drama, tears are a rarity, crabbiness does ensue on occasion.
-I am an introvert - but I am not shy, nor do I avoid large groups, it is just that at the end of the day, my favorite times are the times I spend with the people who are nearest and dearest to my heart.
-I love to watch sports, particularly football, and do my best to cheer on the good ol' Minnesota teams.
-I have recently become a big fan of cooking, drinking tea, listening to NPR/WBEZ, working out, the band Paper Route, and the TV shows How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory.
I know, pretty tame right? Well then I decided to weed out some of my potential suitors and came up with this (again, stripped down version, but these were all included):
I am looking for a guy...
-who is witty like Ira Glass (and who knows who Ira Glass is or is willing to take the time to find out).
-who is willing to put up with certain levels of ridiculousness and fiestyness.
-who has style like Joseph Gordon Levitt
-who can admit that Clint Eastwood is THE MAN.
- who knows who C.S. Lewis and Henri Nouwen are and have read some of their writings.
So, I expected to hear from no one, but surprisingly, within 24 hours, my inbox was 3 emails fuller and I was getting winks from guys who apparently did not read the "has style like JGL" standard. So, I didn't respond to any until Mango Smoothie emailed me.
Mango Smoothie: 26, Graduate Student, Intellectual, Witty, Well-Traveled, Thoughtful, Low-Key
We haven't met yet, but I just gave him my phone number today, which has already utilized by sending me a few texts earlier... I am hoping for a coffee date or something simple tomorrow. I am already a bit nervous because I think I could really like this guy. I do feel like Mango Smoothie is my last chance and if it doesn't work out with him, I am going to end my online dating extravaganza and see if I can make something happen in the face-to-face dating world.
-I am emotionally stable (that's got to be at least 10 points for me), no drama, tears are a rarity, crabbiness does ensue on occasion.
-I am an introvert - but I am not shy, nor do I avoid large groups, it is just that at the end of the day, my favorite times are the times I spend with the people who are nearest and dearest to my heart.
-I love to watch sports, particularly football, and do my best to cheer on the good ol' Minnesota teams.
-I have recently become a big fan of cooking, drinking tea, listening to NPR/WBEZ, working out, the band Paper Route, and the TV shows How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory.
I know, pretty tame right? Well then I decided to weed out some of my potential suitors and came up with this (again, stripped down version, but these were all included):
I am looking for a guy...
-who is witty like Ira Glass (and who knows who Ira Glass is or is willing to take the time to find out).
-who is willing to put up with certain levels of ridiculousness and fiestyness.
-who has style like Joseph Gordon Levitt
-who can admit that Clint Eastwood is THE MAN.
- who knows who C.S. Lewis and Henri Nouwen are and have read some of their writings.
So, I expected to hear from no one, but surprisingly, within 24 hours, my inbox was 3 emails fuller and I was getting winks from guys who apparently did not read the "has style like JGL" standard. So, I didn't respond to any until Mango Smoothie emailed me.
Mango Smoothie: 26, Graduate Student, Intellectual, Witty, Well-Traveled, Thoughtful, Low-Key
We haven't met yet, but I just gave him my phone number today, which has already utilized by sending me a few texts earlier... I am hoping for a coffee date or something simple tomorrow. I am already a bit nervous because I think I could really like this guy. I do feel like Mango Smoothie is my last chance and if it doesn't work out with him, I am going to end my online dating extravaganza and see if I can make something happen in the face-to-face dating world.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
2 Dates and a Stalker
I can tell that I (V) am not a seasoned or faithful blogger because as I sat down to write this post, I realized that I actually had no idea what I even wrote last time. I had to go back and reread my last post before beginning a new one. Now that I have updated myself, here we go...
Last weekend I had my first official, in person date. Yes, I was the last one of us to actually meet someone. No, that doesn't surprise me. I met up for coffee with Grape Juice last Saturday afternoon, and we had a nice 2ish hour chat. J has proof on her phone in the form of a text message saying only "Ahhhh" that I was pretty nervous on my way to the coffee shop. I was a little bit late, so I arrived already a tinge flustered. My frantic awkwardness only multiplied when I failed to put the cover of my coffee back on securely after adding cream and sugar and proceeded to spill coffee on the table as I sat down. Luckily, Grape Juice was prepared with a stack of napkins, so he handed me one as he mumbled, "Here you go..." An excellent start. Things got better from there, and we really did end up having good conversation once I was able to compose myself. We walked out to our cars together, and once again, my inner awkward made quite an appearance as he went in for a hug and I went in for a handshake. A handshake? Really V? I think B had a similar experience though, so that provides some consolation. Despite the few awkward moments and the fact that no 2nd date was mentioned, I left feeling pretty confident that Grape Juice would contact me again.
A few days later, I got a very nice email from Grape Juice, ending with an apology about the hug. He explained that "he is kind of a hugger, and sometimes it gets the best of him." I appreciated his acknowledgement of the awkward goodbye, allowing us to kind of forget about it and move on. Then, after a few random texts throughout the week, Grape Juice asked me out for a 2nd date. We met for dinner last night and again had a good time. We ended up staying at the restaurant for close to 4 hours and were able to laugh as well as talk about serious things. I left feeling good about the date, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a 3rd. I can't say that I'm head over heels, 100% sure about anything, but I am realizing more and more that that's just not how I work. I think that it takes me a little more time to develop confident feelings about someone, but for now, I am willing to continue to get to know Grape Juice to see where it goes.
Aside from Grape Juice, I have not really been consistently communicating with anyone. However, I am STILL having a hard time shaking Milk. After my last post, I ended up telling him that I had decided to pursue other relationships so I thought it would be best if we didn't meet. He left me alone for a little while, but I got another email from him this week! It said "Hey V. I saw that your account was active so it must not have worked out with the other guys. How is school going?" Oh my word! Take a hint! Stop looking at my profile! I haven't responded, and I don't think I will. I am SO thankful I didn't meet that guy. I could have had my very own, full fledged stalker!
Last weekend I had my first official, in person date. Yes, I was the last one of us to actually meet someone. No, that doesn't surprise me. I met up for coffee with Grape Juice last Saturday afternoon, and we had a nice 2ish hour chat. J has proof on her phone in the form of a text message saying only "Ahhhh" that I was pretty nervous on my way to the coffee shop. I was a little bit late, so I arrived already a tinge flustered. My frantic awkwardness only multiplied when I failed to put the cover of my coffee back on securely after adding cream and sugar and proceeded to spill coffee on the table as I sat down. Luckily, Grape Juice was prepared with a stack of napkins, so he handed me one as he mumbled, "Here you go..." An excellent start. Things got better from there, and we really did end up having good conversation once I was able to compose myself. We walked out to our cars together, and once again, my inner awkward made quite an appearance as he went in for a hug and I went in for a handshake. A handshake? Really V? I think B had a similar experience though, so that provides some consolation. Despite the few awkward moments and the fact that no 2nd date was mentioned, I left feeling pretty confident that Grape Juice would contact me again.
A few days later, I got a very nice email from Grape Juice, ending with an apology about the hug. He explained that "he is kind of a hugger, and sometimes it gets the best of him." I appreciated his acknowledgement of the awkward goodbye, allowing us to kind of forget about it and move on. Then, after a few random texts throughout the week, Grape Juice asked me out for a 2nd date. We met for dinner last night and again had a good time. We ended up staying at the restaurant for close to 4 hours and were able to laugh as well as talk about serious things. I left feeling good about the date, and I wouldn't be surprised if there was a 3rd. I can't say that I'm head over heels, 100% sure about anything, but I am realizing more and more that that's just not how I work. I think that it takes me a little more time to develop confident feelings about someone, but for now, I am willing to continue to get to know Grape Juice to see where it goes.
Aside from Grape Juice, I have not really been consistently communicating with anyone. However, I am STILL having a hard time shaking Milk. After my last post, I ended up telling him that I had decided to pursue other relationships so I thought it would be best if we didn't meet. He left me alone for a little while, but I got another email from him this week! It said "Hey V. I saw that your account was active so it must not have worked out with the other guys. How is school going?" Oh my word! Take a hint! Stop looking at my profile! I haven't responded, and I don't think I will. I am SO thankful I didn't meet that guy. I could have had my very own, full fledged stalker!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
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