The Creepers and The Draft

M here. It is time address the lousy side of online dating. The part of it that makes people raise their eyebrows at you when you say you are trying to meet someone online. This is it folks, let us jump right in...

The Creepers. As the cynical woman that I am, I hardly expect to find the man of my dreams while participating in this experience, but I hope find a handful of decent guys. So while the creepy men are somewhat expected, I like to think that they do their best to add the shock factor to their creepiness. It is pretty uncomfortable when a 44-year-old man winks at you or even when someone sends an email that just says "You are so cute" - what is that? Hitting on someone online?? Creepiness ranges from the 33-year-old I regretfully chatted with who would not take a hint and continued to try to instant message me every time I would be on, until I turned my instant message feature OFF to the 47-year-old man with two Asian daughters. That just makes me want to scream and delete my account. But I will persevere. (Might need to make a countdown for when 3 months is over...).

So there is clearly a scale of creepiness. Which brings us to the draft: the reality that no matter how you look at it, if you are online dating, you are simply ranking people from reading what they haphazardly wrote about themselves and viewing a handful of recycled Facebook photos. There is this unnatural feel to it, because you can compare and contrast the men that you are emailing and chatting with and if this guy is less interesting than that guy, well just stop communicating with him and begin to peruse the others who have entered as free agents. Eventually you will be able to put together this great team and dominate the online dating leagues! Of course, you have to believe that they will want to be on your team and you have to realize that they are putting their own team together. Funny way of finding "the one," but I know it can work, a friend of mine just got engaged to a great guy she met online. Maybe I'm just not ready for the draft, after this little stint I might need to take a few years off to train and get some better experience.

But let's end on a positive note - my Tall Coffee fellow came around and asked me out to... yes, coffee. And seeing as he's my number one pick as of right now, I am staying hopeful.

-M

B's pizza?

So I gave out my phone number for the first time. We'll call him Mountain Dew. We had been emailing a bit but looking back, he didn't give much info or give indepth descriptions in his emails. But he asked a couple of times for my phone number and I gave in. An hour later I get a text, "I want to place an order for n extra large pepperoni....thanks :-)." I thought it was weird and reverse white paged the number (that's a verb, right?) and found out it was indeed Mountain Dew. Before I could come up with a response he said "is this b's pizza? ;-)" I just said, "Who is this?" and he said, "its Mt. Dew...how are u today." He seemed to think this was funny and now is surprised I didn't find it funny, but rather thought it was odd. And now he has my number. Great.

Hat and Earring

J here...As I took the train into the city with crazy jumble of nerves in my stomach, I texted a friend and said "I'm freaking out! How often do you take a train into the city to meet a random guy you just met on the Internet?" The first date is always such a gamble and I just wasn't sure what I was getting myself into. As I stepped out of the trail tunnel, I crossed the street to be greeted by Merlot. He was shorter than I expected (note to self: pay attention to the height part of the profile) and confidently sporting a bright red winter hat, shaped like a jester's hat.  He declared that he had no plans, but was excited to spend the afternoon wandering the streets of Chicago, shopping a bit and enjoying getting to know each other.  We headed to the Criskindl Market, popped in some shops, and walked along the Mag Mile. We even walked along the Chicago river walk, where unfortunately my earring popped out of my ear and fell in the river!  I couldn't believe that he didn't jump in the river to rescue it:).  After some great chatting and shopping, we got pizza at Giordano's and drinks at the Signature room in the John Hancock building.  

I was comfortable most of the date and Merlot turned out to be quite the gentleman.  He paid for dinner and opened doors.  He was concerned with my comfort and talked a lot about how he's the kind of guy who will do anything for anyone.  These qualities are all exactly what I'm looking for.  He also made me feel pretty special, complimenting me repeatedly through out the date and commenting on how I fit a lot of what he was looking for.  It was a little much for me, but I guess not too much and I think there will be a second date.  It was a lot to process for a first date, but overall it could have been much worse! Oh and he said that if we went out again, he wouldn't wear the ridiculous hat!

Did you die??

This is V. We are about 10 days into our online dating experience, and I have found that some days it is easy to spend an extended amount of time communicating with/searching for/discussing our potential suitors, and some days, I would rather not even log on at all. I suppose that's normal.

One particular annoyance I was discussing with J yesterday is the sort of abrupt death of communication with a particular guy. I was emailing back and forth with orange juice (pretty average, everyday kind of drink...though you end up being kind of surprised when it's gone) quite consistently. He had initiated the emailing, and we had been emailing daily for 4 or 5 days. I felt as though he seemed pretty interested. Then suddenly...it stopped. Should I attribute this to particularly busy holiday schedules? Did he meet someone else? Did he just lose interest? Did his subscription run out? Did he DIE? Then follows the internal debate. Should I email him again? For the sake of seeming not desperate do I just forget about him? I suppose I should accept that boys do this, particularly in the world of online dating. Maybe I end up sending him an email asking him if he died. Do boys like that?

In other news, I have started emailing with Swiss Miss. I winked at him and then he emailed me. We have emailed back and forth a couple of times. However, there is of course a crazy twist that only online dating can provide: J was just emailing with him last weekend (not to my knowledge). I guess he stopped replying to her on Saturday, and then I heard from him on Monday. Let's hope my next blog post isn't titled "The Brawl."

Merry Christmas everyone!

First 'Date:' Merlot

J here... It's been an interesting week to the start of online dating. I've been waiting with anticipation if someone will respond to my wink or email me with some new and creative questions.  I've had some good flirtatious banter and some other awkward emails, but have been in communication with a few guys. 

A week later I have officially had my first 'date.'  After a slightly excruciating online chat* earlier in the week with Merlot I gave out my phone number and said I would be around on Sunday night.  So at 7 p.m. when my phone rang with an unknown number, I anxiously answered, wondering how awkward a phone call with a total stranger could be.  It wasn't as bad as it could be, he talked a lot about himself, but hey- I don't know him and so I guess that's how you find out about someone.  He asked some questions related to my profile and at one point told me that I was earning 'points.'  I only got the awkward giggles once when I asked him a question that seemed pretty cliche to me.  Either way,  I must have earned enough points because at the end of the conversation he asked for a real date!  So, Friday Merlot and I will romantically wander the streets of Chicago and maybe even see an opera.   Merlot seems like a decent guy and so a first date is where you have to start. He definitely found the window of opportunity and asked at just the right time.


*Side note:  Online Flattery  How do you respond to a guy who emails and says "You have a cute smile."  or "I want to sweep you off your feet, you're beautiful."?  The chat had some of this flattery and I felt at a loss of how to respond. Should I give an emoticon? Should I send a simple 'thank you' or just write 'Shy smile with shoulder shrug' so he knows what I look like in response to his comments.   Chalk it up to figuring out this crazy adventure called online dating.

Window of Opportunity

This is M. Week 1 is complete.


It is difficult to try to measure success when you are online dating. You could simply measure it in profile views, but this doesn't really indicate interest.


Or you could measure it by "winks" which is basically the weird equivalent to "pokes" on Facebook. I don't really feel like this equals success because it is about as passive as you can get when showing interest in someone.


Then there are the emails - how full is your inbox? How many messages have you exchanged? I have exchanged emails with four fellows so far and have discovered that there is a "Window of Opportunity" for asking to meet in person. For example, there are those who just break the window open and all you want to do is be able to shut it back up. This would be a case of "Cream Soda" (a drink that you think you like, but after a couple sips you just aren't sure anymore) who asked me out after I responded to his first email.  I dodged a bullet though -- the age cap saved me and he turned 31 between his first and second email. Then, there are those who probably see that the window is there and think about it a lot, but would like to get a good thorough look through it. I put "Tall Coffee" (tall, strong, and something you might want to have every day) in this category. I am pretty interested in this guy, he is sincere about his relationship with Christ. He seems creative, fun, and thoughtful. He and I have exchanged the most emails, but he hasn't really even hinted about meeting in person. And finally, I suppose there are those who get it just right. I'll give this award to "Pomegranate Margarita" (something you like, but you know probably isn't going to be good when combined with you - I am speaking as someone who is allergic to alcohol, I know it's crazy and a little unfortunate). My biggest reservation with PM is that he states he is a Christian but believes more in principles and a higher power which just doesn't jive with me.


Current Interests:
Tall Coffee: 23, White, Works for InterVarsity Student Ministry.
Pomegranate Margarita: 23, White, Works for an Office Supplies Corp.


-M

It has begun.

This is V. I thought that seeing as how our online dating extravaganza has been underway for 48 hours, we are due for some kind of update.


First of all, I just wanted to say that yes, the TBD behind my longest relationship is accurate. Somehow, despite some close calls, a few dates her and there, and a few broken hearts along the way (sometimes mine, sometimes others), I have managed to squeak through 24 years of life without an official boyfriend. Well, not exactly. When I was in 5th or 6th grade (I can't even remember when!), I said yes to being the girlfriend of a little blondie in my class after he "asked me out" over the phone. However, after become said girlfriend, I got too embarrassed to talk to my boyfriend, so after a few awkward days, I called it quits. Maybe we should add that to my introduction?


Anyway, the online communication has definitely commenced. I feel like I am adding new phrases to my relationship vocabulary. "We winked at each other" or "Oh...he's a no preference..." I never thought I would spend so much time typing in ridiculous usernames like sierramist4life01383109 (maybe not quite that bad) to check out some guy who winked at M or emailed J. It is interesting to already be able to see our different online styles. M has been much more serious with her communications, trying to genuinely get to know the guys she has some interest in. Meanwhile, I am making stupid jokes, hoping that they will appreciate a sense of humor and not get scared away by the ridiculous things I type. I figure that I might as well find out right away if they are going to be able to take it or not, right? All that being said, I do already have a first date lined up, but not until early January when I get back from Christmas break. I have also emailed a couple of times with another guy. More about them later. For now, let the perusing continue.

2 Days in and So Far, I Fail.

This is B.  I'd just like to say that so far, I fail. Most of the people winking at me are ugly and/or fat.
Plus, I already broke the rules and did not log in to Match yesterday because I was busy.  However, I tried to make up for it today I responded to 2 guys emails. If we keep talking, I will come up with drinky names for them.
That is all for now!

This is the story

This is the story of 4 girls giving online dating a chance.  We’re here to chronicle for the world to know what it’s like to meet men on the internet.  There will be good dates, there will be bad dates, there will be creepers and d-bags, but one thing is for sure, there will be stories!  “You both like yoga” must mean that it’s a match made in heaven.  Or is it the fact that you both consider yourself spiritual that will make it destiny?  We are committed to the adventure that it will be and for the next 3 months you will see the highs and lows of what it’s like to online date. 

There are a few things that should be said first to help set the stage for this adventure.  I would like to introduce you to us!

B: 31, school librarian, longest relationship: 5 years
J: 30, teacher, longest relationship: 3 months
M: 23, special ed (not her, her job), longest relationship: 6 months
V: 24, teacher, longest relationship: TBD

We have set for ourselves some ground rules to go by, making the adventure a bit structured. We are all in education and so rules is how we roll.  Here’s how it goes.
1. Age matters!  Age cap for M&V: 30 Age cap for B&J: 38
2. We must log on at least once a day.
3. When asked out on a date, we must go, unless the age cap is exceeded.
4. We must blog about all interesting experiences, online or on dates.  No secrets!
5. We may not initiate dates, chivalry does exist!! We can be old-fashioned while dating online.
6. We can communicate with the same guys.  A little healthy competition is good.
7. We will not reveal the names of any guys communicated with. We will instead refer to them with the name of a beverage.
 

Today is Sunday, December 11, 2011. Let the dating begin.