When You Just Don't Know...

M here. In college, I distinctly remember trying to coin two phrases regarding relationships. The first being: "People break up every day." And the second was: "When you know, you know." Luckily, the phrases weren't super "fetch" so I'm not super worried about them sticking around. But in some contexts, in some times, the statements can be quite true. So -- when you know, you know. The idea behind this phrase is that, in general, when it comes to love, people know. They might not always be honest with themselves, but they probably know whether or not they could love them. 


But as with most generalizations, there are exceptions and corollaries and deviations and inverses. So -- when you don't know, you just don't know. I really haven't been able to spit out much more than that regarding how I feel about Tall Coffee (TC). We graduated from the coffee date to an all out dinner date, which occurred this past Sunday. I met him at his parents' home (he actually lives a couple hours from the Chicago area and pretty much came back to the Chicago suburbs just to meet with me again). It seemed a little weird to meet him at his house, but turned out to be just fine. 


We went to a pretty basic American restaurant, it was nice, comfortable, not super fancy, and the food was decent. If I was writing a Yelp review I might give it a 3 out of 5, but probably wouldn't hurry back for the food. TC was pleasant, we carried on a nice conversation, he asked good questions, he was a great listener, and was very kind. And he paid for dinner, which was great. So far in my goal to at least earn back my $60 bucks I shelled out for this experience, I have gotten $17. We made a stop at Starbucks after dinner, simply because we still had some time and I wasn't opposed to continuing the date. Really, everything went well. 


But, I just don't know. And after the pair of emails TC and I have exchanged since the date, I don't think he really knows either. And here is what I have realized, I am a nice girl, but I am not a sweet girl. Meaning, I am kindhearted and in general quite nice to people; but I am also sarcastic and cynical and feisty. TC might be too nice for that side of me and I think that TC would know if I was a sweet girl. So between the distance and the uncertain feelings, TC and I have decided to continue to get to know each other within reason and without the pressure. 


-M